I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
