you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
