you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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