Where are you?
In a non slutty way
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
