How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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