Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
