i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
