I just cut my nipple shaving
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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