His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
