Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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