If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
be right there i have to get my cape
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
