woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
