I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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