he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
