Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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