Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
