Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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