Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
