Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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