Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
