I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
