Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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