My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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