Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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