On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
