my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you had me at cake vodka
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
