let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize