i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
