we made out on top of his cat.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
