Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
