alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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