its not stalking. its research.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
