YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I touched a dick in church today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
