It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So many bounce houses so little time
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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