just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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