the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
