Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
