I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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