At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
