Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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