One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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