Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
