I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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