If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
