so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
