I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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