I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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