it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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