you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
