That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
