Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Text me some of your sweat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
