butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
