The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I fill condoms, not promises.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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